SEEKONK, Mass. — Local man Gregory Bouchard boasts a savant-like skill for identifying songs by ‘90s post-grunge one-hit wonders, according to astounded sources. “People don’t…
LOS ANGELES — Streaming giant Amazon Prime announced today the upcoming release of “I’m The One,” an alternate-history series that ponders how history might change…
WASHINGTON — Kid Rock capped off his concert at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts with a cover of Woody Guthrie’s “This…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced plans to cut much needed mental health funds for America’s clown posses, confirmed dope-ass sources. “They’ve been stealing our…
TORONTO — Canadian rock band Barenaked Ladies responded to U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs on their country by threatening to release another single, horrified…
HOUSTON — Local conservative Kyle Edwards found himself hoping female-centric music festival Lilith Fair is revived so he can complain about it, sources report. “I…
NEW YORK — Legendary noise rock band Sonic Youth announced they were reforming 13 years after their dissolution, specifically to taunt and harass beloved Canadian…
MILWAUKEE — Legendary folk-punk group Violent Femmes announced Thursday that the band has finally bought a bass drum after 44 years of using just a…
DAYTON, Ohio — Breeders frontwoman Kim Deal reportedly discovered today that she’d been fired from the Pixies after plugging in an old fax machine in…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk Steve “Vomit” Parker reportedly began his annual metamorphosis into a Sublime guy after temperatures cracked the upper 50s this week, sources…
SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. — Local man Travis Anders recently listened to all 15 Genesis albums while waiting for a chance to back out of…
CHICAGO — Local woman Wendy Sachs felt “incredibly lucky” to hear the worst cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” ever written by a human in her…
LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage all four men in the…
MELBOURNE — Leading archaeology authorities excitedly reported they’re narrowing in on finally unearthing a song by Jet that isn’t “Are You Gonna Be My Girl,”…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A life-long fan of the political rock group Rage Against the Machine expressed outrage that the band’s politics had changed from how…