FORT MYERS, Fla. — Up and coming MAGA rapper Shilla Flo found his career reaching new heights after sexual harassment accusations from multiple women were brought to light, sources report.
“I woke up this morning, and the number of listens my album ‘Support the Flolice’ had on Spotify was ten times what it was last night,” Flo said. “I’ve also received phone calls from several right-wing record labels looking to sign me. Apparently it’s because there were some ladies who didn’t agree with my flirting style. It feels incredible to finally be in the same league as the best president this country has ever seen, which is great because he’s almost certainly going to stay in office past his allotted term limit. Trump 2028, baby!”
Fan David Crowley reacted to Flo’s newfound fame.
“This is amazing,” Crowley provided. “I hold my rappers to the same standards I hold my elected officials, so Shilla Flo is now one of my all-time favorites. I’ve been paying attention to him ever since his song ‘My Favorite Felon’ dropped last summer, and I was overjoyed to hear that he’s also being targeted by the same deep state that’s been going after our president so unfairly for the past decade. Every fan of MAGA rap now needs to support this guy and show the Woke Mob that we’re not going to stand idly by and let them turn this country back into the socialist hellhole it was under Biden.”
President Donald Trump weighed in on his acolyte’s overnight success.
“I don’t listen to much rap, but what a great guy,” Trump mused. “The radical left thugs and lunatics are running wild with their allegations. I bet these women who are accusing him aren’t even his type, because the same thing has been happening to me for years. There are so many men just like him. Big men. Strong men. You wouldn’t believe how big these men are. They’ve come up to me before with tears in their eyes, saying ‘Mr. Trump, I can’t believe what they’re doing to us. They’re accusing us and they’re stealing elections. They’re stuffing ballot boxes.’ And it’s awful what they’re doing. Just awful, but we’re back now, and I’ve got leaders from all over the world calling me, begging me to make deals with them.”
At press time, “Support the Flolice” went platinum after footage surfaced of Shilla Flo using a racial slur.